choices

i could easily be discouraged...

• raymond still doesn't have a job (except the job that i really want - staying home and taking care of our kids)
• by the prospect of being a full time teacher next year (more time away from my kids)
• 2 years ago we started paying off debt and we still have a long way to go
• that riley seems to be losing tiny pieces of her innocence on a daily basis and the reality of this world is creeping closer and closer
• by some of my silent prayers that seem to go unanswered 

but then i read in Riley's new storybook bible "so Abraham trusted what God said more than what his eyes could see.  And he believed."

so i will choose to trust what God says more than what my eyes can see...and believe

The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for your faithful love endures forever...Ps. 138:8

My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  2 Corn. 12:8-9

You will keep in perfect peace whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Is. 26:3

In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones be lost.  Matt. 18:14

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Prov. 22:6

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.  Heb. 10:36

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in my heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  Matt. 11:28-30

This is the confidence we have approaching God:  that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us- whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of Him. 1 John 5: 14-15

Don't be afraid, for I am with you.  Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.  Is. 41:10

my prayer

"Lord...i don't know Your plan for my life.  i do know that i trust You.  please give me the strength to keep trusting You.  tonight...tomorrow...next week...next month....next year.  thank You for your promises, Your faithfulness, Your love.  thank You for rescuing me from my own strong will and rebellion and restoring me.  i am so thankful to be walking with You rather than struggling against You.  thank You for how You are already answering the prayers on my heart at this very moment. 

In Your Precious Name
amen

because He lives...

this week i have had the opportunity to really think on the death and resurrection of Jesus

one of these old hymns have been on my heart. i searched for it to add to my playlist just so i could hear it again. and somehow...i still know so many of the words. i was able to really meditate on these words and what they mean to me now. how i would love to stand in a church now and sing these words out...

because He lives
i can face tomorrow

because He lives
all fear is gone

because i know
He holds the future

and life is worth the living
just beceause He lives


i'm thinking that this is exactly what the followers of Jesus were feeling on that first Easter and the days to follow. their hopes had been restored; their fears vanished; their futures clear. their mission was to take their experiences and share them with the world.

i'd say that's a life worth the living...

BECAUSE HE LIVES!!

princess mama

brady's room...sunggling in the rocking chair... lights out

"mama yur hair look like a princess" as he brushes it back (my unwashed, undone, gray roots everywhere hair)

"my hair looks like princess hair?"

"yes. it does. i love it"

"awww...that's so nice"

"i love you princess" as he wraps his arms around me

"i love you my princess mama"

"I love you too my little prince"

thank you, thank you, thank you for the sweetness of my boy!

kid love

i love that my kids love me...

no matter what i'm wearing

no matter how much money i have

no matter how many mistakes i make

even when my hair is gray

even when i eat too much

even when i have to punish them

when i'm a grump

when i'm tired and just want to snuggle

when i forget something important

ahh...kid love

tenderness

i went to a funeral yesterday. i didn't know her at all. she was a friend's mom. although i wasn't experiencing any personal grief, i witnessed many moments that touched my heart.

a woman entertaining a sweet little infant boy

a son sharing of how his faith in Jesus saved him from a life of drug and alcohol abuse

a pastor tell of this woman's faith and hope in Jesus

a husband wiping the tears from his wife's face

a friend reaching over and hugging another friend

smiles, laughter and tears as family and friends watched a video of their dear loved one

the name of Jesus being repeated over and over

the prompting of the Holy Spirit for me to pray for those in the room who don't know Him

i was especially touched by the soloist who sang "give me Jesus" and "i can only imagine"


i didn't know what to expect walking into the funeral.

i know i didn't expect to be blessed.

wednesday hodgepodge

Don't know what's gotten into me...just feel like bloggin! Well...and I'm totally avoiding work that I should be doing. But this is a way better use of my time than TV or facebook right? :)


1. The NFL playoffs were held this past weekend and this year's Superbowl lineup will feature The New York Giants versus The New England Patriots. How do you define 'patriot'?

Well, right now when I hear that word I think of Felicity Merriman. Who? Oh...just my favorite American Girl. Yes...pathetic. She was brave, an independent thinker and a risk-taker.

2. What's something in your life right now that feels like a 'giant'?

Goliath = Raymond's unemployment.
The stones I'm throwing at it= Prayer. Trust. Contentment. Hope. Patience

3. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think back to being 18?

18? Oh yea...just one of the many periods I've blocked out- never to be spoken of.

4. Coconut-mashed potatoes-vanilla ice cream-mayonnaise...which white food would be the hardest to give up?

Hands down vanilla ice cream- Breyers Natural Vanilla to be exact! And no offense mom, but I can't even imagine anyone choosing the other ones over ice cream! What? are you going to put mashed potatoes on your apple pie? A brownie sundae with mayo? Birthday cake and coconut? You can tell that I am into dessert right now...need all the extra insulation for the winter...in case our heat gets turned off...or i get stranded...ok enough - I JUST LOVE ICE CREAM!


5. Describe an incident or a day you remember as the coldest you've ever experienced?

Up North. Aunt Kathy. Ski Lift. Stuck. Blowing Snow.

What's that? A ladder? Yea...don't think so. Get this thing movin!!


6. You're hosting a brunch...what's your favorite dish to prepare and serve?

Apple pancake casserole or french toast casserole


7. How do you combat negative thinking?

Prayer and Worship music...but before that I usually round up a big ol pity party for myself and invite my friends - chocolate, more chocolate and...yep - chocolate.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I am really enjoying Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Reading it the morning really helps my mindset for the day. It's also bringing a whole new level of intimacy to my relationship with Jesus. I can't believe how Jesus uses this little book to speak to me - every day- right where I'm at. When I'm reading this little book everything makes so much more sense. I see God as He truly is and it is such a comfort. It also helps me feel connected to Kris and Mom because I know they are reading it too.

Maybe I'll be back tomorrow

joy boy

my favorite boy is 3

he loves...nanni, sasi, mimi, poppie, daddy, riley, tee-tee, all his cousins...and...his mommy.

he tells me all day long "i miss you" "i need you" "i love you" and sometimes he even adds "...so so much."

believe me...i'm soaking it all up now. he's all mine....and he's so NOT.

he's a child of God our Father- our Father who created him in His image; who planned out all his days before i ever laid eyes on him; who loved him enough to die for him; who has prepared a place for him in eternity; who chose a flawed, broken...redeemed mother to teach him, guide him and...love him.

what a joy

heaven in her heart

"mom, wouldn't it be cool if Jesus came back TONIGHT?"

"yes, it would"

"it's like we would go to sleep in our beds and then suddenly we would wake up in our beds in heaven. they would be much better and cozier than our beds and we would never have to leave." (i think she means we wouldn't have to leave heaven - not the beds) :)

"isn't that your wish mom?"

"it sure is honey"

then she breaks into her current favorite song with the motions and everything...


"Behold He comes
Riding on the clouds
Shining like the sun
At the trumpet calls
So lift your voice
It's the year of Jubilee
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!"

i am so thankful that riley has an "i can't wait for heaven" attitude. she doesn't long for the things of this life. and she hasn't suffered loss and heartache to get to this point. she just feels it and knows it.

thank you Jesus for her heart.