Sovereignty

isn't it a relief that God is sovereign?

it took me a long time to really get what that means...not that my human brain can even totally understand

He knows
He plans
He creates
He reveals
He heals
He loves
He waits
He stays
He answers

He makes provisions
He prepares
He guides
He prompts
He leads
He carries

He knows. and that's all i need to know.

fear and faith

"A faithful person sees life from the perspective of trust, not fear. Bedrock faith allows me to believe that, despite the chaos of the present moment, God does reign; that regardless of how worthless I feel, I truly matter to a God of love; that no pain lasts forever and no evil triumphs in the end. Faith sees even the darkest deed of all history, the death of God's Son, as a necessary prelude to the brightest."

Grace Notes by Philip Yancey June 12th

fear and faith do not mix

fear paralyzes
faith steps out

fear is painful
faith comforts

fear feels out of control
faith calms

fear overwhelms
faith overcomes

fear is self-centered
faith is God-centered

fear is sin
faith is salvation


Lord, increase my faith this day. blot out all sinful fears. help me to trust in your sovereignty and in Your perfect will for my life. banish every anxious thought. fill me up with Your love, Lord.

parenting with God

ok...just had to have the "6 year olds do NOT have boyfriends and girlfriends" talk with riley. feeling overwhelmed by the hard stuff of parenting right now. feeling scared, insecure and lonely.

so now the bright side...ok...let me think....

the bright side is...

• she agreed with me
• i'm a parent who will actually SAY that to her kid (no- i don't think it's "cute" and meaningless)
• and the best one - GOD is on my side, helping me do this. and he loves her even more than i do. i so need his help.

this "boyfriend/girlfriend" business was brought on by a discussion about what Paul says in Philippians about "whatever is good, honorable, lovely...think about these things...and you will have the peace of God"---my total paraphrase. it was our devotional for tonight. this led to her -once again- defending her love of taylor swift music (whose music is filled with boyfriend/girlfriend stuff). i tried to explain that what she is singing about is NOT for 6 year old girls. i went on to say that when you fill your heart and mind with things about God you will have more peace in your heart. i can tell she is so torn and all this stuff is way over her head and she is trying to grapple with it.

the last couple of nights she has been asking lots of questions about the apostle paul. i read to her from Acts about his conversion, his beatings and his arrests. she was BEGGING for more. she was fascinated by why the Paul (and others) wanted to persecute Christians. and also why Paul was persecuted for preaching about Jesus.

we talked more about why Jesus had to die and why she is a sinner (still a hard concept for her to grasp). she doesn't remember ever not "knowing" Jesus. she just can't understand how there are (and were) people out there who don't believe in Jesus and who don't love him with all their hearts. she asks tons and tons of questions and i just pray that the Holy Spirit gives me the answers.

a few cute tidbits...

when i picked her up from school today she was looking for a boy in her class. she said that they wanted to have a playdate so they could talk about God. they drew maps for each other at recess. she said that he told her that he has only read 6 pages about God in his bible (which is really his sister's).

also, from school...another friend told her that God created every person. riley told her that no - he only helped my mom get me out of her stomach...oh my goodness...i tried not to laugh...

how do parents raise their little people without God??

i'm so blessed that i'll never have to find that out...

a new year

2010 was a doozy...as was 2009....yea...and 2008- for sure....come to think of it - life has taken me for quite a ride the last few years (lots of sorrow sprinkled with some unbelievable joy)

hello 2011

what will you bring?

disappointment?
pain?
uncertainty?
confusion?
loss?
anger?

joy?
hope?
love?
forgiveness?
repentance?
grace?

i'm ready. i do not fear tomorrow, next week, next month, next year - YOU are already there. YOU know exactly what will happen and YOU will be there with me each step of the way.

what am i going to do in 2011?
one of the things that brought me great strength and comfort last year was to read through the Bible. i'm doing it again -this time chronologically (thanks, mom).

i am also joining Beth Moore's scripture memorization "team". 2 verses a month.

verse 1: the Lord will work out His plans for my life-for your faithful love, o Lord, endures forever. don't abandon me, for you have made me. ps 138:8

hopefully these two things will also help me improve on those more typical "problem areas" (eating, exercise, gossiping, pride, worry...etc, etc, etc...)

happy new year