grace

grace is...

God's goodness to me when i deserve only punishment

grace is...
costly to the giver
appalling to the observer
overwhelming to the receiver
an action that arises entirely from the character of God
not in response to anything in me

i am a Christian entirely and solely as a result of the grace of God

taken from a recent message on ephesians 2:8-10 (bellcreek.org 12/12/10)

although i have been saved for most of my life, i had trouble living for God before i truly grasped the concept of grace. when i started to understand it...i was truly overwhelmed. my heart changed and continues to change as i dig deeper.

God's grace...
increases my love for God
deepens my relationship with Him
changes the way i treat others
humbles me
helps me to forgive
makes me abundantly thankful
releases me from feelings of guilt
eases my doubts
makes things of this world pale in comparison

amazing grace

Christmas

i will not settle...

Christmas is so much more than...

gifts
no gift in the world is greater than God's son

family
i am a child of the creater of the universe

religion
celebrating the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus is a daily privledge

Merry Christmas

lies and the truth

my summer bible study was Lies Women Believe. a few highlights include:

• the lies that swirl around in my head are satan's attacks. i must recognize that and rebuke them with truth.
• the little "personal traits" or "weaknesses" in my life like worry, gossip, pride, insecurity - they are all sins. they interfere with my walk with God and often lead to greater sin.

ok...enough of an introduction. since i'm trying to walk on the bright side these days, i thought i would share the truths instead of the lies. i like to meditate on each one...they ground me, give me hope and a beautiful glimpse at the Light at the end of this dark, difficult tunnel.

1. God is good (ps. 119:68, 136:1)
2. God loves me and wants me to have His best (ro 8:32, 38-39)
3. i am complete and accepted in Christ (eph 1:4-6)
4. God is enough (ps 23:1)
5. God can be trusted (isaiah 28:16)
6. God doesn't make any mistakes (isaiah 46:10)
7. God's grace is sufficient for me (2 cor 12:9)
8. the blood of Christ is sufficient to cover all my sins (1john 1:7)
9. the cross of Christ is sufficient to conquer my sinful flesh (ro 6:6-7)
10. my past does not have to plague me (1 cor 6:9-11)
11. God's word is sufficient to lead me, teach me and heal me (ps 107:20, 119:105)
12. through the power of his Holy Spirit, God will enable me to do anything He commands me to do (phil 2:13, 1 thess 5:24)
13. i am responsible before God for my behavior, responses and choices (ezekiel 18:19-22)
14. i will reap whatever i sow. God will not be mocked (galations 6:7-8)
15. the pathway to true joy is to relinquish control (matt 16:25, luke 1:38)
16. the greatest freedom i can experience is found through submission to God-ordained authority (eph 5:21)
17. in the will of God, there is no holier calling than to be a wife and mother (titus 2:4-5)
18. personal holiness is more important than personal happiness (eph 5:25-27)
19. God is more concerned about changing me and glorifying Himself than about solving all my problems (ro 8:29)
20. it is impossible to be godly without suffering (1 peter 5:10)
21. my suffering will not last forever (2 cor 4:17-18)
22. it's not about me; it's all about Him (col 1:16-18, rev 4:11)

faith

how are you coping?

my faith....faith in God.

well, faith is good and everything, but it will only get you so far.

oh really? what will get me farther than faith in God?

family? friends?
counseling? medication?
walking away from it all?

no, my friend. faith in God's provision is my only hope.

faith in God is
my joy
my strength
my daily bread

and it will take me all the way to eternity.

the prodigal...daughter

prodigal:

a fool
thick headed
empty headed
lacking moral sensitivity
wicked - a person who knowingly involves themselves in moral perversion

that was me

i couldn't help but think of my parents during sunday's message on how to deal with a prodigal. it left me hoping they heard a message like this at some point duirng my rebellious years.

they must have because they seemed to know what to do.
they were my lighthouse in my raging storm
they practiced the 3 "p's": pray, pesist and plan
they relinquished me (gave me freedom to deal with directly with God); released me (gave me over to myself) and restored me (welcomed me back with open arms)

i can't imagine it was easy for them to do any of this. what a blessing it is to have godly parents who obey the Lord. although, i still bear some consequences of my prodigal lifestyle, i've repented and been fully restored by God's truly amazing grace.

although i pray that my own kids will somehow be spared from a prodigal's life - at least God gives me directions (pray, persist and plan....relinquish, release and restore) and hope in his soveriegnty, mercy and grace.

"arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..." Lam. 2:19

lost and found

lost:

innocence, security, family

image, expectations, reality

friendship, comfort, dreams

unity, safety, honesty

trust

respect

love

found:

fear, rejection, anger

shock, silence, sorrow

isolation, judgement, pain

despair, doubt, deceit

darkness

sin

death

Savior, Helper, Friend

conviction, faith, understanding

support, stillness, strength

acceptance, joy, confidence

patience, perseverence, perspective

redemption, wisdom, thanksgiving

humility, healing, hope

grace

forgiveness

peace

Romans 8:18 & 28

wake up call

yesterday i found myself arguing with God a bit.

"You said You would be here - helping me
i thought all things would be used for Your good...not seeing a whole lot of good!
what's taking so long?
can't You just do this for me?
i don't think i can do it..."

blah blah blah...mope mope mope...wah wah wah...poor me....

then i stopped.

of course He could do it for me....He could make all things better and good...

but where would that leave me? would i praise and thank Him for the miracle He worked in my life? or would i be filled with pride and try to take credit?

obviously i'm not where God wants me yet...there's still more for me to learn...He wants to do it with me not for me. God will get His glory....He's not about to let me take it from Him...that's my wake up call....

i need to trust...to praise...to act and then let go....

the bright side?

He's right there with me....falling with me - getting back up - holding me - sustaining me...

heal me

i've always loved singing praises to God. i love sunday school songs, hymns, and worship songs. it's easy for me to relate to God in song. there is almost always a hymn or a song that meets me right where i'm at and makes my worship heartfelt; even heart wrenching at times. it feels very much like having those favorite verses and promises that i pull out and meditate on when i need them. i am so thankful for these songs...

i am weak; i am weary; i am tired; i have failed; i'm broken
He will lead me; i will follow
where He leads me; i will go
heal me
i will be set free


Let all who are weak
All who are weary
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain
All who have sailed
On the rivers of heartache
Come to the sea
Come on, be set free!

If You lead me Lord, I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will Go
Come and heal me Lord,
I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will go I will go

Let all who are weak
All who are weary
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain
Let all who have climbed,
The mountains of heartbreak
Reach to the sky
Come on, and give your life

If You lead me Lord, I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will Go
Come and heal me Lord, I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will go
I will go

Heal me. Heal me.

All who are weak
All who are weary
All who are tired
All who are thirsty
All who have failed
All who are broken
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain

wisdom

this morning i read this as part of an introduction to the book of proverbs.

wisdom is the art of living skillfully in whatever actual conditions we find ourselves.


wisdom has to do with becoming skillful in honoring our parents and raising our children, handling our money and conducting our sexual lives, going to work and exercising leadership, using words well and treating friends kindly, eating and drinking healthily, cultivating emotions within ourselves and attitudes toward others that make for peace. threaded through all these items is the insistence that the way we think of and respond to God is the most practical thing we do. in matters of everyday practicality, nothing, takes precedence over God.

i reread this a few times.

then i thanked God for His Book and prayed for wisdom...

my best friend

i had a long overdue heart to heart with one of my old friends. i haven't seen her or talked to her since before Christmas. it made me realize how much i miss hanging out with my friends. and how much i've neglected trying to make new friends - especially other Christian women. God created us to need each other. sometimes it's just easier to be a loner. i miss my friends...

the bright side is that i have access to my best friend every moment of every day and night. He celebrates with me and mourns with me. He lifts my burdens; eases my worries; challenges my choices. He loves me just the way I am and will even be there when i neglect our relationship. He knows everything about me and has felt every emotion i've ever experienced and He's there with open arms...

my Jesus....my King, Savior, my Best Friend - i can't wait to see you face to face


What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised
Thou wilt all our burdens bear;
May we ever, Lord, be bringing
All to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright, unclouded,
There will be no need for prayer—
Rapture, praise, and endless worship
Will be our sweet portion there.

snow day wish

big day tomorrow
get tucked in tight

but why mama?

home is so nice

things, plans, people to see

can't waste time

ok mama, then what?

games? books? bake a treat?

no, baby

dinner, dishes, bath and bed

ok mama, maybe the next day?

dress-up? dolls? make-believe?

time to sleep baby

rest up good

will it snow mama?

great, big, fluffy flakes?

maybe

wait and see

eyes close

dreams begin

snow falls

wake up baby

day has begun

time for things, people and places?

not today

but why mama?

snow.

now what?

how bout games, books, and treats?

dress-up? dolls? and make-believe?

yes mama

thank you snow

the bright side of winter?

sometimes it forces me to stop. stop with the demands of daily life. i can be slow and spend more time doing what's important; hangin with my kiddos. no errands....no shopping...no appointments, meetings, emails.

ok...let's play.... :)

grandma

she's gone....





the bright side....

she's in heaven...

worry free; pain free; full of joy to be with her Savior

...and i will see her again

love you grandma

happy birthday joy boy

this post is a bit late, but didn't want to let it go. on jan 10, 2009 i became a mom for the 2nd time. my little surprise has turned out to be one of my greatest blessings. although God may not prevent bad things from happening in our lives He gives us little gifts; little reminders that He is good all the time; reasons to hope, to trust, to love.

i wasn't sure that i could ever love another child like i love riley. wow- was i wrong. my heart just breaks sometimes over the love i feel for him.

i've prayed over him and for him countless times as i've fed him, rocked him, snuggled him. i've cried out to God asking for protection for his life especially as he grows into a young man. it is my hope that he gives his life to God at an early age.

recently i heard a song called "the words i would say" by sidewalk prophets. the chorus of the song brought tears to my eyes it reminded me of what i would like to say to brady.

be strong in the LORD

never give up hope,

you're going to do great things,

i already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

don't live life in fear,

forgive and forget,

but don't forget why you're here,

take your time and pray,

thank God for each day,

His love will find a way,

these are the words I would say

look forward to loving you for a lifetime, brady boy

those people

it really stinks when people treat me badly.
it feels like crap. it hurts.

it's so easy to get sucked into negative thinking when people hurt me. i begin to think i deserve it in some way....

the bright side?

my identity is not in what other people think of me or how they treat me. my identity is in what my Creator Father thinks of me and how He treats me. He thinks the world of me. His love for me is boundless. He forgives all my sins and actually forgets them. His feelings toward me are based on who He is....not who i am or what i've done. He treats me with unconditional love, faithfulness, grace and mercy.

so what about those people who are selfish, rude, unkind, and hurtful?

i need to be faithful in praying for them. isn't that the very least Jesus would do?

"you have heard that it was said, 'love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' but I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." matthew 5:43-45

2010

goodbye 2009


goodbye

fear
worry
regret
control
judgement
criticism
jealousy
hate


hello 2010


hello

grace
peace
forgiveness
surrender
kindness
mercy
contentment
love

my goal in 2010 is to become more like Jesus. i want to live everyday as if it will be the day Jesus will come and take me home. my thoughts, words and actions should reflect who i want to become. i do not want to feel shame standing before my King.


"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." phil 4: 6-7