fear

i am thankful for this verse (and so many others like them...)

Hebrews 13:6
So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

right now i am struggling with fear. i'm afraid of someone new coming into my home to take care of my kids. oh...how i wish it were me....

a good friend of mine helped me put this fear in perspective. she reminded me that God loves my kids even more than i do...wow. i meditated on that for awhile and was blessed with an overwhelming sense of peace. so often i think of them as "my kids" when in reality... they are HIS.... and i've only been given the privledge of being their mom here on earth. of course He loves them more than i do. He created them....in His own image....

she also believes that God will honor the prayers that i've been storming heaven with for so many months.....Lord please bring the right person to care for my kids....help me find someone who loves You and will care for them and grow to love them....please let them be safe and secure in someone else's care.

i think i've found the right person. i pray that she is everything i've prayed for and will be a blessing to me and the kids.

this is a big step for me. i feel my faith and trust in God is being tested. i need to believe that even when i'm not here God is loving my kids and watching over them even better than i can.

i continue to covet prayers regarding this situation. please pray my heart will be filled with peace rather than fear and sadness.

contentment

i find myself contemplating happiness a lot lately. happiness seems to be the goal of so many people; not only for themselves, but for those they love. "i just want to be happy...." "i want my kids to be happy...." "...whatever makes you happy...." "i'm happy if you're happy..."

what's with all this "happiness" crap?

should happiness be the ultimate goal? does it last? does it really make life better? can anyone truly be "happy" all the time?

the way i see it - the pursuit of happiness has broken up relationships, torn apart families, ruined businesses, ended lives, created selfish, self-centered kids who only repeat the cycle.

it's not that i'm not happy or don't enjoy happiness...i'm just saying - it's not all about happiness

i recently heard that contentment is knowing that God will never leave me or forsake me. no matter my circumstances. whether or not i am happy.

the things in life that often bring happiness are things that will indeed leave us and perhaps forsake us.

clothes, cars, toys (ipods, computers, big screen tv's), our homes, our careers, vacations....

...our friends, our kids, our spouses....

it's hard to think about losing these things. would i still be happy if i did. no. could i still be content? i would like to think that i could. would i rather have the assurance that i would never lose these things/people or would i rather have assurance that my God will never leave me or forsake me? when i consider this... happiness doesn't seem so important.

another thought...can those who don't have a relationship with God ever be content? is that why they are chasing happiness?

thank you God for contentment in a happy-crazy world.